Wednesday 21 July 2010

Who Was Millie Mopp?

'Drag Queen's with an attitude,
Fella's that were in the mood,
Don't just stand there, let's get to it,
Let your auntie Millie chew it...Blokes!'


Millie Mopp, 7ft 10” of Blonde Amazonian True Drag Goddess, retired from all things fabulous and hung up her now infamous ‘riah' on 29th December 2000 after a career that spanned 16 years.
Known for her re-writes of famous songs that were interpreted to fit her unique style, classics such as Madonna’s 'Vogue' became 'Millie’s Blokes', 'Any Dream Will Do' from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat became 'Any Queen Will Do/ Sue', inspired by Jason Donovan’s libel case against The Face magazine. Dressed as Baby Jane Hudson from the film Whatever Happened to Baby Jane, Millie sang the now infamous 'I’ve Written A Letter To Maggie' a re-write of the song, 'I’ve written A Letter to Daddy'. This was written in direct response to the passing of Section 28 by Margaret Thatcher's Conservative government. Performed all over the Gay scene by Millie, it became the ‘unofficial’ anthem for this archaic and despicable act passed to encroach on the human rights of every gay man and lesbian in Britain in 1988. It was prohibited for local authorities to 'promote' homosexuality in a positive way and labelled gay family relationships as 'pretend' . The famous line ‘your own daughter Carol's not married, maybe she’s one too’ used to receive the biggest cheer, ensuring ‘Millie-Tant Millie Mopp’ a place in gay history.

Millie Mopp worked tirelessly for many gay charities, giving her time for free and assisting in raising many thousands of pounds for worthwhile causes. Charities from Gay Pride, the Terence Higgins Trust and Crusaid benefited from her unique style, talent and patronage.

Known for her ‘Marge Simpson’ riah (Millie came before Marge by the way), Millie’s unique sense of style and stunning costumes assisted her in becoming what she set out to be…a legend in her own life time!

This blog will be a history of 'The Mopp' in words and photo's...from her humble beginnings in deepest, darkest south London; taking you on a journey into the international twilight world that was Millie Mopp, The True Drag Goddess...how bona!!!

Really Lady!









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We All Had To Start Somewhere…Over The Rainbow?

Imagine it, circa 1979 in deepest darkest Vauxhall in Southwest London, just across the river from Pimlico at that long gone and forgotten institution known as The Elephant & Castle public house. Long before Vauxhall became a destination for 21st century queens, Tuesday night was ‘Ladies Night’ and this was where Millie got her first taste for treading the boards. Taking her life in her hands by walking those streets after dusk, Millie, along with friends Kevin Peters and Polara became a regular feature at ladies night.

Acquiring her ‘frocks’ from local charity shops (she was the original size zero drag queen) Millie would lip synch along to classics such as Peggy Lee’s ‘Fever’ through a vodka sodden stupor …dreadfully.
Blinded into submission by the glare of the spot light that frequently beckoned her to this hell hole, this was Millie’s very own ‘London Palladium’. With her Abigail’s Party blue eye shadow plastered on like an unconvincing geezer bird, this was to be the catalyst that would steer Millie on to become the True Drag Goddess that so many adored.

As you can see from the earliest known photo above of the Goddess in waiting, it was all part of evolution...natural drag beauty didn’t happen overnight; nor did acquiring Goddess like status either!

1984 & No Sign Of BB...Just Millie!













Photo published in 'The Black Leather Jacket' circa 1985...taken in
Hungerford Lane outside Heavens notorious 'Cellar Bar'.

The Goddess in Waiting, like so many out of work actors and actresses, was waiting on tables at a burger bar in Battersea (sometimes referred to as South Chelsea), Southwest London. Known as Le Grand Café and long gone, Millie worked tirelessly. She dealt with the drunken hooray Henries that would use the restaurant to purchase a plain burger with chips and a glass of Eau De La Maison (tap water). With a tongue as sharp as her Seamstress’ needle, she belittled such requests by asking if it was Perrier, soda or tonic they wished to purchase. Two people in this life you should never upset are your waiter and your hairdresser…Millie had been both. Party nights were fun nights; frocks were created, make up and lashes were applied, and straight men fell at her feet, begging to lick the heels of her 5” follow me, f..k me black patent leather stilettos. Confusion reigned supreme, and so too did Millie.

Millie’s dream of stardom was about to be realised and came one step nearer when she got the call. A friend of Millie’s called Scottie was compering a new quiz show at Heaven on Friday nights called the ‘Come on out Game show’. Scottie knew of Millie's quest for stardom and could see her star was in its ascension. Now dear reader, you must remember this was 1984 and Heaven was firmly established as 'the' macho (sic) club where lisping clones and leather Mary’s exchanged new quiche recipes through a haze of 4711. Situated beneath Charing Cross train station, the mainline train terminus for London and the Home Counties, this was the nearest London would ever have to Manhattan’s notorious gay bars and clubs of the Lower East Side.

Scottie put Millie’s name forward to act as score girl for the show; she was rejected, not even able to leap the first hurdle. Millie was devastated as she did not fit the club’s ‘oh so butch image’! Scottie persevered. There had been a clone, a leather Mary and a cheeky young chicken acting as score 'boys'…now it was time for some glamour…Millie Mopp. Literally, at the 11th hour on the day of the show Millie got the final call; ‘here’s looking at you kid, the management have succumbed and they want you!’ Millie was overcome with emotion. Up until that point, between her legs had felt as dry as the Sahara Dessert. Having gotten the call, they began to flow uncontrollably like Niagara Falls!

Millie arrived at the club with drag bag in tow. She made herself known at the reception desk, having entered the hallowed portals of this infamous and world famous venue with trepidation. The check out Cheryl snarled at her, 'so you’re the drag’ in a deep Glaswegian accent and promptly handed her a wad of drinks tickets. 'Sod it', thought Millie, 'the Drag’s gonna get pissed!'. Once she had been shown to her changing cupboard, Millie applied her face, taking care to ensure that her natural drag beauty would shine like a dogs cock in the moonlight. Slipping on her melon sheer tip to toe 20 denier tights she had purchased that day from Brixton market, she began to realise how big a gig this was going to be; it could make or break her. Adjusting her simple little black dress (god bless Coco Chanel), the overture for the show began (albeit some cheap lift music off a K-Tel album) and Millie was introduced to the throbbing masses, like a christian being thrown to the lions. The Star bar in Heaven suddenly became Millie's Colloseum.

With microphone in hand and spotlight beaming down on her oh so svelte figure, Millie was an instantaneous hit, geeing the contestants on whilst barracking the audience with her acidic put downs. One queen shouted at her, ‘show us your arse Millie’, and she duly obliged. The management looked on, unable to comprehend, let alone believe what an instantaneous hit this modern day gladiator was. Millie described herself in one simple, yet elongated adjective...

'Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabulous!'.

Needless to say, Millie finished the series of shows, becoming an integral part of the Heaven family. Halloween, Valentine’s, you name it, she made it. Millie put the drag into Heaven, going on to host the formidable ‘Gong Show’ in 1985. Taking such classics as Kate Bush's ‘Wuthering Heights’ and Doris Day’s ‘Secret Love’, she re-interpreted them as only Millie could, further developing her skills as a performer whilst maintaining her iconic status as the one who broke 'The Management' and put the drag into Heaven!

The First Publicity Photo.




















Photo taken at the Royal Oak Pub in
Hammersmith.

Friday 21 September 2007

A Goddess Was Born!

This publicity shot, taken by Gordon Rainsford, instantly left an indelible mark wherever it was published, establishing the True Drag Goddess as a force to be reckoned with. Inspired by the girl groups of the 60’s, Millie’s look was an exaggeration of all things wonderful that these iconic women gave us; big hair, big eyes, lashes and lashings of liner along with the mini dress.
Millie had the longest, slenderest legs that went on for days and wore the shortest mini skirts that would have made even Mary Quant blush. It had been said that if her skirts got any shorter she would have had to get her second lipstick out!
Many a woman had been known to shout from the audience ‘I’d die for legs like that’. Not one to hold back, the Goddess’s short sharp retort? ‘Well die then’!

The Shaggy Lays...

Polly, Thelma and Millie; circa 1985.
The Shaggy Lays, a play on words after The Shangri-La’s girl group, won the second ‘Gong Show’ at Heaven in 1985. The original trio, Alice, Polly and Thelma were signed up by an agency and quickly gained a loyal following, lip-synching to the great 60’s classics that included; ‘Walking In The Sand’, ‘Give Him A Great Big Kiss’ and ‘One Fine Day’ amongst many. They too took their inspiration from the girl groups of that era; big hair, big eyes and equally big egos. Quickly establishing themselves as an integral part of London’s burgeoning drag circuit, the pressure of overnight fame proved too much for Alice and she graciously ‘hung up her wig’ (rumour has it she kept forgetting to hide it when dragging bits of unsuspecting trade back to her squalid bedsit)! Alice needed to be replaced, and quickly. Being a great friend of all three, the most obvious choice was not far away; The Goddess was asked, and duly accepted the challenge. Rehearsals were rapidly arranged; within a week, they were ready for the first of many ‘threesomes’…

The Goddess remembers the first ‘gig’ being in a venue with very low ceilings, somewhere in South West London. Naturally, the show was a success and the group went on to enjoy many more threesomes up and down the country. Regularly appearing at The Two Brewers, The Black Cap, The Vauxhall Tavern and The White Swan amongst many, the trio spent these show nights invariably sending the assembled throng into a state of girl group euphoria. From Bournemouth to Nottingham, The isle Of Dogs to Birmingham, who doesn’t LOVE to sing along to ‘Leader of the Pack’ and imitate the crash scene (‘No, no, no, no, no…look out, look out, look out’) whilst clutching their invisible string of pearls?

The Shaggy Lays enjoyed ‘international’ fame, The Goddess securing them a tour of Holland in 1986 (albeit a long weekend). From Groningen in the far north of Holland to The Hague and Amsterdam, the trio finally completed their weekend at The Gay Palace in Rotterdam. Wowing the audience in their fluorescent pink circle dresses with black polka dots, many were to fall at the feet of the trio; they themselves wanting to be the leader of this pack, The Shaggy Lays!

Hairspray...The Godess' Favourite Tipple!



The Original Door Whore!

Here are some rare photos of The Goddess in her 'Door Whore' days at Bang nightclub situated on Charing Cross Road, London. Once again, the Goddess set the precedent by becoming the first regular door host at a top West End nightclub. Described in Capital Gay (the then weekly freebie newspaper) as the 'ubiquitous Millie', she lived up to the title and could be found most Monday's and Thursdays sat at the main entrance, meeting and greeting an eclectic mix of people from London’s ever evolving Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender scene. Sipping delicately on a can of Holsten Pils through a straw so as not to spoil her lippy, Millie encapsulated the mood of the moment in one word…bona!

Millie would also compère for the party nights that were a regular feature at Bang. One of her favourite and most memorable nights was ‘The Prisoner Cell Block H’ night. Millie was overcome with excitement at the prospect of introducing and working alongside her heroines from the show. On the night, sharing her dressing room from the original Australian cult TV series was Val Lehman who played the inmate and top dog Bea Smith. Along with Maggie Kirkpatrick, better known as the evil villainess and leather gloved prison officer Joan ‘The Freak’ Ferguson, Millie sipped champagne with her heroines. As show time approached, Millie ascended the steps to the stage and the whole club descended into darkness. Dressed in overalls and boots with the stage set to resemble a Wentworth Detention Centre cell and lit by a single follow spot, Millie sang her own unique version of the shows theme tune, ‘On the Inside’. The atmosphere that night was electric, the crowd roaring their approval when Millie finished her rendition. Offstage, over the clubs sound system, the unmistakable voice of ‘The Freak’ was heard to say ‘Mopp’…the rest, as they say, is history!
For many, Bang was their first foray in to a gay nightclub and to be confronted by the Goddess, to say the least, was a little disconcerting, if not down right terrifying. Many that befriended Millie would later confide that she instilled this sense of horror and fear; a question many would ask themselves, and Millie…is gay life all about dressing up as a woman, shrieking at all in sundry like a demented hyena? With a flutter of her lashes and a flashing of her hoop, the Goddess would respond; ‘A woman? Look dear, you'd be hard pushed to find ANY woman looking like me trolling down the cold meats aisle in Tesco’s on a Saturday morning!’
Guided by the Goddess and her infinite pearls of wisdom, many would learn how drag was an integral part of the gay scene. Millie took time to explain the term drag queen originates from Polari, a subset of English slang that was popular in some gay communities in the early part of the 20th century. Drag meant "clothes", and was also theatre slang for a woman's costume worn by a male actor. Queen refers to the trait of affected royalty found in many drag characters (many started off as a princess, elevating themselves to fully fledged queen with time and practice). An alarming amount of people thought that Millie not only worked as a drag queen but also sought sexual gratification by parading around as this larger than life caricature. The disbelievers, and there were many, could not have been further from the truth. Unbeknownst to them and the majority, beneath the incomparable and camp exterior that was The Goddess, there lurked 6ft 1” of leather clad, cropped haired... creaturette!

The Goddess Goes Down...Down-Under For Mardi Gras 1997!

Rare archive footage of The Goddess in Sydney for the 1997 Mardi Gras. This footage was shot on the Saturday before the annual Mardi Gras Parade and party. Known at the time as 'Shop Yourself Stupid', it is an annual fundraiser for the Bobby Goldsmith Foundation, Australias equivalent of the Terence Higgins Trust. Millie could be found performing on the back of a vegetable truck outside Saks Leather on Oxford Street, assisting in raising thousands of dollars for this worthwhile cause. See if you can spot Millie’s heroine from 'Prisoner Cell Block H', Maggie Kirkpatrick. She too was their on that day in her capacity as a star of the Australian small screen, supporting the foundation...and Millie!


Tuesday 21 August 2007

A Suitable Brooch For Elton?

This rarely seen photograph of The Goddess was taken in 1996 by Gordon Rainsford at the official opening of the newly installed hydrotherapy pool at East London’s Globe Centre. The Globe Centre was established in 1981 with the aim of providing practical and emotional support for those living with and affected by HIV and AIDS.
Sir Elton was invited in his capacity as patron for the centre to open the hydrotherapy facility. Millie was there in her capacity as ‘something gorgeous’ for Elton to wear on his lapel!

The superstar would later 'support' The Goddess on stage at the 1999 Stonewall Equality show. Flanked by six Drag Queens, including The Goddess, Sir Elton infuriated British scouting leaders when he performed alongside 'six strip-teasing teenagers' attired in Cub Scout uniforms. The 'boys' grabbed their crotches and bared themselves down to their skimpy shorts to the classic tune "It's a Sin" by the Pet Shop Boys. At the time, a spokesman for Elton explained that the sexy-scout spectacle "was a bit of high camp in the great British tradition of comedy like Benny Hill. It was meant to be a bit of fun for an appropriate audience."(Millie would later testify that if these 'boys' were teenagers, she was the long lost love child of John Wayne)!

A 'Knight' To Remember!

Photo published in Hello! Magazine, issue number 563. June 8th, 1999

The Goddess was thrilled to have been asked to meet and greet such a distinguished group of friends from stage, screen and television who were brought together to celebrate Sir Ian ‘Serena’ Mckellen's surprise 60th birthday in May 1999. Arriving in a red Bentley at The Royal Garden Hotel, Kensington, Sir Ian was overwhelmed at the reception he received. Assembled friends included Sting, along with wife Trudy Styler, David Hockney, Jane Asher, Lynn and Lady Redgrave, Janet Street-Porter, Geri Halliwell, Dawn French, Neil Tennant, Richard E Grant, former Whitehouse intern Monica Lewinski, the actor and activist Michael Cashman, Graham Norton, Michelle Collins and Trevor Nunn, to name but a few. Ever the professional, The Goddess took to the job in hand with ease, not being at all phased by the assembled throng (deep down inside she was screaming, uncontrollably). As supper was served, Millie went to her suite upstairs to change into her ‘supper outfit’.

As Millie descended the staircase and entered the room, all eyes fell upon her. Absorbing her ‘natural’ drag beauty, a deathly hush fell upon the masses as The Goddess struck a pose…there appeared to be no seats left at any of the immediate tables for her. Millie cast a steely eye across the room; there was a vacant seat at Lynn and Lady Redgrave’s table. Who dared to stop her from sitting with the members of this distinguished and much admired acting dynasty? Millie sauntered across the room; her 'sylphlike' figure likened to that of a stick insect clad in royal blue crushed velvet, she boldly took her place next to Lynn Redgrave. Lynn turned to The Goddess and said, ‘my mother is in awe of your hair, where do you have it styled?’ ‘Alfredo’s down the Walworth Road’ snorted The Goddess. ‘A shampoo and set on Saturday and a dry carmen comb-out on a Wednesday works wonders!’ 'You must give me his number', piped up Lady Redgrave, a wry smile crossing her face.
With the ice broken, the wine flowed; and from that moment on, whilst engaging in social chit chat and swapping make-up tips, Millie enjoyed one of the most exhilarating and memorable evenings of her career. A light fork supper with The Redgrave’s whilst Sting sang 'Happy Birthday' to Sir Ian, not ten feet from The Goddess. Along with a photo in Hello! Magazine...what more could a Goddess ask for?

Quote from Hello! Magazine: The compass of Sir Ian's circle of friends could hardly be called narrow: Lady Redgrave cuts his Jane Asher-designed chocolate cake watched by daughter Lynn, The True Drag Goddess Millie Mopp (dressed by the House Of Geden), Richard III director Richard Loncraine's children, and Jane herself.

Monica Who?...& Great Aunt Regina!


Richard & The Goddess!


The Tesco Club-Card Frock!




















The Tesco Club Card frock was originally created for the Gay Pride celebrations held at Victoria Park, London in 1995 where the Goddess was appearing alongside many of her colleagues and doyennes of the drag circuit. Inspiration for the Club Card Frock came from the dress worn by costume designer Lizzy Gardiner at the 1995 Oscars. Made entirely from Gold American Express cards, Lizzy wore the dress when she went to collect the Oscar for best costumes designed for the international global phenomenon, ‘Priscilla, Queen of the Desert’.

Rumour has it that whilst filming Priscilla, a dress made out of credit cards was rejected by all the major credit card companies (one can only presume this was because of the content matter of the film). Not to be beaten, costume designers Tim Chappel and Lizzy gardiner popped into K-Mart in Warringah Mall and purchased several pairs of thongs (flip-flops) to make the now (in) famous thong dress. With the film such an international hit and with a coveted Oscar nomination, one can only presume that all the major credit card companies were literally 'bending over backwards' to accommodate Miss Gardiner for the ceremony. Publicity like that was priceless; American Express was the credit card company finally chosen, publicly associating themselves with Priscilla. One can only assume all the others were ceremoniously rejected, one by one!

Deciding to go from the sublime to the ridiculous whilst aided and abetted by her guru Mad Margaret, The Goddess had very little trouble in persuading Tesco’s to supply her with the much coveted supply of club-cards. They understood the power of the pink pound; all they requested in return was a photo for their in-house magazine. This was duly supplied, and for the summer of 1995, The Goddess became this blue plastic club-card clad, walking, talking, singing advertisement for Tesco’s. She never shopped at Sainsbury’s again and was able to collect thousands of extra club-card points for her troubles, allowing her to indulge herself in her favourite cosmetics range, Rimmel!

The Goddess & Her Younger Niece Lola Lasagne @ Gay Pride 1995!

The Tesco Club-Card Frock in its full
'point collecting' glory!

Saturday 21 July 2007

Personal Services...Courtesy Of Madame Sin, Cynthia Payne!

Cynthia Payne was born in Bognor Regis, West Sussex and was a renowned English party hostess who made the headlines in the 1970’s and 80’s when she was accused of being a madam and running a brothel at Ambleside Avenue in Streatham, south-west London. In 1978 she was convicted of running "the biggest disorderly house in history", for which she was sent to prison for 18 months. This was reduced to six months on appeal. Her parties were famous for, amongst other things, their luncheon vouchers which were purportedly given to guests who exchanged them for services with prostitutes. The charge was £25 which included food, drink and sex…a bargain if ever there was one!

On the occasion of this photo, Cynthia was invited to cut the ribbon at the official opening of Bang night club in Streatham; sister club to the successful West-End establishment. Fortunately for The Goddess, luncheon vouchers did not come into the equation and when asked by Cynthia if she would like to come and work for her, Millie was heard to say; ‘Cynthia, I can just about give it away, never mind sell it!’.

A Favourite Bed-Time Read!


Photo taken by Gordon Rainsford at
The Ship & Whale, Surrey Docks circa 1986.

Hello Sailor!

Gay Pride 1998 on Piccadilly...
sailors unknown!

Ooh, Varda Those Bona Lallies!


The Annual 'Top Of The Mopp Awards'.






















The annual Top of The Mopp awards were presented five times; the first one in held in 1995 at The London Apprentice, Old Street, and the subsequent four years from 1997 until 2000 at Central Station, Kings Cross, home to Millie’s longest established residency. Set up as a precursor to the annual Hollywood Oscars ceremony, the awards were presented for services rendered to The Goddess. All nominees were nominated by The Goddess. All votes were cast by The Goddess. All awards were presented by…you guessed it, The Goddess!


To be nominated for an award was something that many aspired to. To actually have one presented was, for many, an overwhelming achievement that they would cherish for the rest of their lives (Millie would constantly award herself the OBE award…Owner of the Bona Eek). The most intriguing award for the assembled throng was the ‘Shag a Drag Award’, bestowed upon the current Mr. Mopp. In polite company he was often referred to as ‘her shag’ and was best known for his patience, tolerance and indulger of her ego. The ‘Shag a Drag Award’ was presented three times over the five year period; the last recipient of this award has managed to run the course and in ‘dog’ years has just celebrated his 70th anniversary with The Goddess!

The Awards!

The awards above were designed and produced
by Mad Margaret and his father, John.

A Spell For Bona Skinhead Trade!





















Photo taken outside Heaven; Halloween 1999.

"Tonight is my night
so some dick is a must
Skinheads beware of my magical dust
If you come within arms length
I’ll reach you with gravity
For Millie wants filling
in her largest cavity.

If your sta press start tearing
And your braces go ping
Then you’re under my spell
You hairless young thing
If your boots feel too heavy
And your eyes feel all sluggish
Then you’re captured by Millie
Who dotes on the thuggish.

I’ll insist that you beat me
With heavy steel chains
As you chase me and chide me
Down dark Brixton lanes
I won’t run too fast Johnny
When we’re alone
As you ravish fair Millie
On a granite tombstone!"



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'Eye of maggot and crushed bone

Give me that bona looking clone

Nay I'd sit on his face

He could guess my weight

Then I'd ride his willy

'til his bollocks ached!'




















Bang, Bang...


Wanna Shag A Drag?


Evenin' All...


Topp Of The Mopps Winner!


Bikers Bitch?



Book Ends...


















The Goddess with dear friends, 'Katrina & The Boy'.
Millie's Blokes!




















Artwork by Edu 2003

Perormed to the tune of 'Vogue'...
Drag queens with an attitude
Fella's that were in the mood
Don't just stand there
Let's get to it
Let your Auntie Millie chew it
...Blokes

Here I stand dressed for solo masturbation
In 5" fuck me high heels
What I need, is a greasy car mechanic
His bulging muscles I'd feel
I don't want conversation
Fun furs or cash
I like my payments in flesh
Insert your credit card
In my gaping gash
I'm a bona shag
Bring your overnight bag

Chorus

Come on Blokes
Let your Aunty prove she's a floozy
Come on Blokes
Millies face sits five at a time
You know she's not choosy

Leather men are a cause for salivation
Convention is such a bore (it's such a bore)
What I need is a bit of flagellation
Just make my bottom red raw
It makes no difference if you're black or white
So long as you're not a girl
I'm silly Millie and I'm feeling alright
Because I'm beautiful
And my hoop is full

Chorus

Tattooed skinheads, dirty boots
Men in polyester suits
Lorry drivers, leather queens
Come fulfill my naughty dreams
My idea of perfect Heaven's
Muscle men with number 7
Unwashed hairy well hung bikers
10" todger of Jeff Stryker
I've got style, I've got grace
Come and sit on Millies face
Try me out don't be a pillock
Let me feel your bouncy grillocks
Fella's if you're feeling rude
Silly Millie's in the mood
Don't just stand there
Let's get to it
Let your Auntie Millie chew it
...Blokes!

Chorus





Out There Everywhere, God Forgive Sydney 2001 a Queer Odyssey - a Mopptastic Mardi Gras!

Artwork by M@tt @ QX Magazine.

In the beginning there was bigotry, hatred and darkness. And God being a gay man trapped in the body of an out of work drag queen that she was, said, “let there be light”. And behold there was light. And She looked at the brightness and thought how dull it looked, so She divided the light into seven beautiful colours and She called it ‘Freedom’.

When She had finished this She decided to party across the seas and created Oz.

Most of us know something about the land called Oz. There was a movie based on this land with a girl called Dorothy and she had a dog called Toto. The Oz we want to talk about here has nothing to do with the movie even though it has plenty to do with the friends of Dorothy.

Dorothy’s friends set out each year on a pilgrimage to Oz to celebrate under thousands and thousands of manufactured rainbows.

God being the benevolent entity that she was separated the waters to create a natural Harbour and to celebrate this auspicious event she devised a series of parties that she called Mardi Gras.

Later in history this venue became known to the world as Sydney, the Home of the Olympic Gods.

And God looked down on what She had created and said “Bona”

And after all this God inadvertently ate an illegal substance which prompted her to fashion out of lycra a man made in Her own image and She named him Adam.

Adam was a circuit party queen with bulging muscles and a predisposition for being called Mary. All his friends knew him as Dora Bubble (a derivative of the word adorable).

And Adam minced upon the earth in search of something that God had forgotten to give him, so he placed an advertisement in a personal column and found Steve.

Adam and Steve liked dressing in leather, sequins and other stretchy fabrics. They enjoyed makeup and cruising in the Gardens that God had created for them. But this was not enough.

One day Adam and Steve packed all that they had purchased into a trolley dolly bag with wheels and they set forth on a flying kangaroo named QANTAS (which is an acronym for Queers and Nellies Travelling Abroad Stylishly). Packed liked Joeys into an economy sized pouch for what seemed like six months and eating all that was provided in packets (because they both like packets) they eventually arrived at the earlier created Oz

And with them in that economy sized pouch was Millie Mopp and Her Mopp Posse armed with lilly white skin and a strong pound. All booked into Wentworth Avenue at a plush apartment with stunning views of the Mardi Gras starting area. And so the story begins. It is the 24th Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras……

Saturday 3rd March 2001, and bodies start to surface at the Wentworth Detention Centre. We have been partying all week and today sees the culmination of months of preparation for the Mardi Gras parade and dance party on both Our parts and that of the local queer community. We spent the day preparing ourselves for the evenings festivities, dilemmas over party outfits are put to sleep once and for all. Decisions are made as to where we shall varda the parade from, what food should be consumed to fuel our bodies for the the next 24hrs, and most importantly, what order shall we take our locally purchased recreationals in; at $50 dollars a go, we had to get the combination right!

The atmosphere on Oxford St, the heart of Sydney’s gay quarter, can only be described as electric.

The anticipation in the air fed you like no bowl of complex carbohydrates ever could, at points it was like being in Compton St on a Saturday afternoon, albeit a busy one, but transferred to the Southern Hemisphere!

Shit, showered and shaved, we descend upon Oxford St just before the parade begins. Nothing, but nothing, can prepare for you the site that greets you. They have come from the Sydney suburbs, interstate, and all corners of the globe.

Between 400 000 and 500 000 souls all decided to witness the event and squeezed themselves as close as possible to the barriers lining the route from central Sydney to The Fox Studios, site of the post parade party.

A banner with the immortal words “God Forgive Sydney” greets the first of the 175 floats taking part, a few lost souls in a sea of a few hundred thousand hedonistic ones! And being the equality-seeking people that we are, the God squad was embraced with queer love and tolerance.

The lead float, ‘Beyond the Pink Picket Fence’, hammered home the family message surrounded by giant flamingos carrying babies in their beaks, a taste of all that is political and a precursor of many of the issues that were being paraded.

Groups as diverse as ‘Children of the Rainbow’, a challenge on views of the family, to ‘Sweeties for a Treaty’, a call for a treaty between Aboriginal Australians and the Federal Government were clearly evident.

One of the highlights that stunned the crowd as it passed, was The Mardi Gras marching boys, girls, drag kings and drag queens who performed a spectacular and rigorous routine to Madonna’s ‘Music’, a feast for the eyes of a DQOD (Drag Queen Off Duty). The roar of approval from the crowd along the route fed the parade participants constantly, like no injection of amphetamine ever could.

We watched the parade on Moore Park Drive, near to the seating stands that raise thousands of dollars for the Bobby Goldsmith Foundation, the Australian equivalent of THT.

They kept coming in their hundreds, proud of their sexuality, celebrating with pride the uniqueness of this legendary event. Groups from all over the globe were there representing a global unity that belongs solely to Sydney.

Having feasted our eyes on this orgy of glitz and glamour, we head toward Fox Studios, our own little Shangri La for the next 12hrs, clutching our much coveted dance party tickets. Housed at the former Agricultural Show Grounds, and now home to cinemas and restaurants, we troll through the turnstiles to be confronted by a working drag queen. She was sat above us, seated like an umpire at Wimbledon, clutching her microphone whilst instructing Madonna to go to dressing room B and Jennifer Lopez to collect her supper from her mother who was at the front gate. The rumours as to who the surprise guest every year are rife. Sadly, we are still waiting for our leader to reward us.

We head straight to the Royal Hall of Industries (RHI), the main dance arena where my younger niece, Wayne G, will be closing the evening’s festivities. Already the atmosphere is electric as thousands pour into this vast arena with a capacity of 13000. The lighting rig is the size of a rig more commonly found in the North Sea pumping oil to our fair shores, but this one was going to pump energy onto this dance floor as never seen before.

The Posse decide to make our meeting point at the front of the dj box so that we have a good vantage point to watch the legendary shows and also be able to keep an eye on my niece when she performs.

At midnight, dead on the stroke of, and with no signs of pumpkins, I witnessed a site that I will remember for many years. The opening show was Madonna’s ‘Music’, with the aforementioned troupe giving us a site to feast upon. Exact numbers I am unsure of, they appeared on a Las Vegas style set and just kept coming, in what appeared to be their hundreds. On a revolving stage, from the sides and down a staircase this drag queen would have DIED to descend, they performed one of the slickest dance routines I have ever seen. The energy that came from that stage was further fuelled by the cheers from the crowd, all wishing that they too were part of this amazing scene. Topped off by the appearance of a naked cowboy astride a bucking bronco, the endless pyrotechnics and stunning lasers left me in a state of euphoria, unlike any chemically induced one I have ever experienced.

We spent our time floating between pavilions after that, into The Hordern to hear legendary godfather of house Frankie Knuckles spin a disc or two. Over at City Life, a new dance space for the hard house fans amongst us, we heard Trade Wunderkind Fergie play a blinding set, though he did throw a bit of wobbly when asked to relinquish the decks for local dj Baby Bear.

Having had inside information from Miss G, we were privilege to witness all the shows that were on in the RHI through the night. Adeva and local girl Shauna Jensen gave a blinding performance of “Sisters” in the 2.30am show. Vanessa Amorosi’s show at 4am included an accompaniment by the “laser goddess”, an acrobat who was flown out over the crowd in a mirror costume and then had lasers blasted all over the arena, whilst Vanessa sang “The Power”. Renee Geyer was the 7am show, singing “Sunshine on a Rainy Day”, suspended over the dance floor perched on the edge of the sun. The production of these shows is incredible, it is difficult to describe them in greater detail, just let me say, jealousy is a very ugly thing and at that moment in time I resembled Quasimodo!

My niece, Miss G, took to the decks at 7 am and rocked the RHI as only she knows how. Her sound is unique as most of you know, if her music were the food of life, I would be obese.

The “climax” to this 12hr marathon was none other than Sheena Easton (god, I hate Esther Rantzen) who rose like a phoenix from the ashes, or her hotel suite, to close Mardi Gras. Her rendition of the disco classic “Givin’ Up” was well received, but she ruined her performance by giving a speech at the end that was read off her bouquet of flowers!

10am Sunday 4th March 2001.

Will God forgive Sydney? I hope not!

Mille Mopp x

Originally published in QX Magazine No 322 - 21st March 2001