1984 & No Sign Of BB...Just Millie!

Photo published in 'The Black Leather Jacket' circa 1985...taken in
Hungerford Lane outside Heavens notorious 'Cellar Bar'.

The Goddess in Waiting, like so many out of work actors and actresses, was waiting on tables at a burger bar in Battersea (sometimes referred to as South Chelsea), Southwest London. Known as Le Grand Café and long gone, Millie worked tirelessly. She dealt with the drunken hooray Henries that would use the restaurant to purchase a plain burger with chips and a glass of Eau De La Maison (tap water). With a tongue as sharp as her Seamstress’ needle, she belittled such requests by asking if it was Perrier, soda or tonic they wished to purchase. Two people in this life you should never upset are your waiter and your hairdresser…Millie had been both. Party nights were fun nights; frocks were created, make up and lashes were applied, and straight men fell at her feet, begging to lick the heels of her 5” follow me, f..k me black patent leather stilettos. Confusion reigned supreme, and so too did Millie.

Millie’s dream of stardom was about to be realised and came one step nearer when she got the call. A friend of Millie’s called Scottie was compering a new quiz show at Heaven on Friday nights called the ‘Come on out Game show’. Scottie knew of Millie's quest for stardom and could see her star was in its ascension. Now dear reader, you must remember this was 1984 and Heaven was firmly established as 'the' macho (sic) club where lisping clones and leather Mary’s exchanged new quiche recipes through a haze of 4711. Situated beneath Charing Cross train station, the mainline train terminus for London and the Home Counties, this was the nearest London would ever have to Manhattan’s notorious gay bars and clubs of the Lower East Side.

Scottie put Millie’s name forward to act as score girl for the show; she was rejected, not even able to leap the first hurdle. Millie was devastated as she did not fit the club’s ‘oh so butch image’! Scottie persevered. There had been a clone, a leather Mary and a cheeky young chicken acting as score 'boys'…now it was time for some glamour…Millie Mopp. Literally, at the 11th hour on the day of the show Millie got the final call; ‘here’s looking at you kid, the management have succumbed and they want you!’ Millie was overcome with emotion. Up until that point, between her legs had felt as dry as the Sahara Dessert. Having gotten the call, they began to flow uncontrollably like Niagara Falls!

Millie arrived at the club with drag bag in tow. She made herself known at the reception desk, having entered the hallowed portals of this infamous and world famous venue with trepidation. The check out Cheryl snarled at her, 'so you’re the drag’ in a deep Glaswegian accent and promptly handed her a wad of drinks tickets. 'Sod it', thought Millie, 'the Drag’s gonna get pissed!'. Once she had been shown to her changing cupboard, Millie applied her face, taking care to ensure that her natural drag beauty would shine like a dogs cock in the moonlight. Slipping on her melon sheer tip to toe 20 denier tights she had purchased that day from Brixton market, she began to realise how big a gig this was going to be; it could make or break her. Adjusting her simple little black dress (god bless Coco Chanel), the overture for the show began (albeit some cheap lift music off a K-Tel album) and Millie was introduced to the throbbing masses, like a christian being thrown to the lions. The Star bar in Heaven suddenly became Millie's Colloseum.

With microphone in hand and spotlight beaming down on her oh so svelte figure, Millie was an instantaneous hit, geeing the contestants on whilst barracking the audience with her acidic put downs. One queen shouted at her, ‘show us your arse Millie’, and she duly obliged. The management looked on, unable to comprehend, let alone believe what an instantaneous hit this modern day gladiator was. Millie described herself in one simple, yet elongated adjective...

'Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabulous!'.

Needless to say, Millie finished the series of shows, becoming an integral part of the Heaven family. Halloween, Valentine’s, you name it, she made it. Millie put the drag into Heaven, going on to host the formidable ‘Gong Show’ in 1985. Taking such classics as Kate Bush's ‘Wuthering Heights’ and Doris Day’s ‘Secret Love’, she re-interpreted them as only Millie could, further developing her skills as a performer whilst maintaining her iconic status as the one who broke 'The Management' and put the drag into Heaven!